Bowling for Penguins…ehhh.

Saturday, May 17th, 2008...10:27 pm

Bowling for Penguins…ehhh.

Tired of being known for little more than hockey, Canadians desperately seek out a new sport to call their own.

Our apologies to Dudley Do-Right.

Speaking of hockey, the fix is in. You can bet the ranch (or igloo as the case may be) that the Pens will win the cup because that’s what the NHL wants. Sid “Viscous” Crosby has been ordained as the new Gretzky by the powers that be. While the Pens are an excellent team, the Wings will have to beat the refs as well to take the cup. Not so easy.

OK, you hosers—bring on the lawsuits. We’ve got a small army of overeducated and underfed L.A. lawyers waiting for you. They are not vegans.

The beatings will continue until morale improves: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.